Europe, Post 10: How to be ridiculously forgetful in 14 simple steps

Phase I (husband)

1. Leave camera charger behind in England.

2. Spend half a day looking for a new one in Brussels, Belgium. Eventually find one.

Phase II (wife)

3. Take wedding ring off to moisturise hands shortly before checking out of guesthouse in Liechtenstein. Merrily check out of guesthouse, leaving ring sitting on wooden foot of bed. To be truly ridiculously forgetful rather than just forgetful, ensure it is a particularly inconvenient guesthouse to return to – i.e. one that can only be reached by a 600m trek up the side of an icy, snow-covered mountain.

4. Realise ring has been forgotten only after driving 8 km down the mountain.

5. Call guesthouse. Communicate location of forgotten ring to lovely English-speaking lady host, who has already anticipated that the call is about a forgotten item before being told.

6. Return to foot of toboggan run. Find minimal-English-speaking husband of host loading up snowmobile trailer with toboggans. Communicate nature of forgotten item by pointing at naked ring finger. Secretly hope one can hitch-hike up the mountain on the snowmobile, retrieve ring, and travel back down on a toboggan.

7. Call guesthouse again and receive joyfully the news that the ring has been located.

8. Endeavour to give phone to husband of host so that his wife can explain the situation. Experience extreme difficulty doing so. Discovering that amateur German-speaking ability disappears when needed most, try explaining via English and gestures to minimal-English-speaking husband of host that one does not need to borrow his phone, nor be given the phone number of the guesthouse. One simply wants him to hold the phone to his ear and say hello. Eventually realise one does know a relevant basic German sentence, “sie sprechen mit ihr Frau”, and this does the trick instantly!

9. Husband of host communicates that he will go up the mountain on his snowmobile with its trailer load of toboggans, collect the ring, and bring it back with him in 20 minutes when he comes down to get the next load.

10. Experience joyful reunion with ring.

Phase III (husband)

11. Leave mobile phone behind in Munich, Germany. To be truly ridiculously forgetful rather than just forgetful, ensure it is left in the only room on the entire trip that was shared with six (or indeed any) backpackers.

12. Leave Munich, drive out of Germany into Liechtenstein, spend day and night in Liechtenstein, leave Liechtenstein (all of Phase II occurs here), drive back into Germany to Tennenbronn in the Black Forest, check into guesthouse, relax, wander the streets, eat tea, make a beeswax candle, etc etc.

13. Ensure wife feels guilty about Phase II.

14. Only then, notice absence of mobile phone...