Ode to Tommy

Since that day at Indooroopilly,
We had an almost four-year run
With our trusty old mate Tommy:
A TomTom model One.

We took him off to England
And he led us all around -
All year he kept us right on track,
From Prague to London town.

And then we moved to Canada -
He took it in his stride;
From Texas to Vancouver,
He's shown us every side!

He's been to eighteen countries,
But the journey's ended here.*
I can hardly think of all he's done
Without a little tear.

He's averted many arguments -
For road maps don't spell peace!
And he spoke in many voices,
But our favourite was John Cleese.

He's been on every road trip
That we've done since we were wed;
He'd tell us where the servos were,
And complain whene'er we sped!

He knew where every friend's house was,
So the road was never long -
And he knew how to recalculate
If we ever did it wrong.

He off-roaded in the Schwartzwald;
Fell in a dusty Utah ditch;
He had issues in Ireland;
And in Maine he had a glitch.

But whate'er his quirks and foibles,
We always made it in the end...
There'll never be another
Like him, our faithful friend.


*Tommy was stolen from our car (along with a number of other items that had nowhere near as much sentimental value) on the evening of December 28th, 2010.

We went Ape!

Now the tale I'm going to tell you

Speaks of adventure death defying;

Of Tarzan stunts and tree-top grunts

And screams most terrifying.

Those of you who know me well

Will ask how I survived...

I, too, am puzzled by this fact –

But yes! I am alive!

So now begins my story –

Oh! But first, the place and time:

Last Saturday, near Guildford...

Now onward with the rhyme!

To the Woodland Park at Alice Holt,

We drove our car that morning;

Met our group of thirteen friends,

And heard the safety warnings.

Too soon it was upon us:

The time to venture on our own

To where Ape alone had gone before

(Insert my whimpered moans).

We clambered up the rope ladder

To platform number one,

And didn't touch the ground again

For quite some time to come!

From tree to tree we traipsed

On skinny bits of wood or wire,

Dangling from our harnesses

As the course got slowly higher.

It was up to forty feet between

The ground and our brave toes –

I must confess, in three whole hours,

I hardly looked below!

We crossed from trunk to tree trunk

On loops and nets of rope,

And 'twas at the first Tarzan swing

That I nearly gave up hope.

I had to hook my harness

To a swing away up high,

Then step off into nothing

And try my best to fly!

It took some kind encouragement

But soon I took the leap...

Launched out over nothing

And hit the netting in a heap!

Up I climbed like Spiderman

And on to the next part;

My legs were actually trembling,

And oh! My pounding heart!

Alone I would have chickened out,

But with friends I soldiered on;

Only two (plus Ben) I'd met before –

But what a way to bond!

A thought just kept recurring:

Of all the stupid things I've done,

To actually pay to do this

Was up there as number one!

As we neared the final challenges,

I thought about the prize:

“The ground! The ground! I'm almost there!”

'Twas music to my eyes.

At forty feet I shimmied through

A tunnel made of planks;

Crossed a holey wooden bridge

And offered up my thanks.

From swaying swing to swing I stepped –

Just two tasks left to go!

I waited on the platform

For the girl in front to go.

Now I'll just pause to mention

What Ben was doing then:

Balancing across a wooden log

Without using his hands...

Back and forth he galloped,

Forty feet up high,

Daring others to do likewise...

“Hrrrummph” thought I!

So I had one last crossing

To get to the next tree,

And then the final zip line

Before I'd be home free!

The crossing had just one wire

For my pink shoes to tread,

With nothing for my hands to hold

But loose ropes dangling overhead.

Halfway across I realised

'Twas much better with eyes closed,

And I later saw a photo

From the ground up of this pose!

And then the final zip line...

Ah, but my word, they were fun:

Just like a giant flying fox;

I landed at a run!

Ben zipped down right after me,

I was nearly faint with joy –

I was never leaving Earth again...

But then that naughty boy...!

He said “there's one more section”

And he pointed over there;

I nearly died from disappointment;

I could have wept with my despair.

Then I really should have smacked him,

For he pointed, laughing, at a sign

That read “Congratulations! You've done it!”

...And rapturous joy was – finally – mine.

And now for the proof that we really did all this!!...

The reason why most of the photos are of me is because I had far more on my mind than taking photos, so I gave Ben the camera for once! :) I'll be getting some of the others' photos from the day soon, so keep an eye out for the next lot...

Here we all are as an ecstatic group after successfully completing the Go Ape course; firstly with our Ape-like tendancies in check, and then just being our new selves...